Tests--Passed and Failed

Thursday I had my fourth round of chemo--YEAH!! That means I am officially 1/2 done with chemo. They will start me on another round of chemo drugs for the next half. That means no more Adreimisum (I am sure that is spelled wrong, but I can't find Bill's drug book), or the "Red Devil" drug as they call it in the infusion clinic. It is aptly so named because of its side effects, but it has also done a wonderful job in shrinking my mass. I will gladly deal with those if it heals my body.

Now to the tests I was referring to in my title. On one my scans they thought they saw an abnormality on the base of my tongue that they felt should be checked out. So on Thursday I went to yet another Dr. to get this done. The intern came in first and tried to get all the background info she could and to do an initial exam. I warned her that I have a very sensitive gag reflex, and wan't sure how this would go. First she tried to exam the area with a tongue depressor with no success. I won't bore you with the details. Then she tried her gloved hands. That was even a greater disaster. I confess, I think I may have even clamped down on her finger briefly. I was so embarrassed. I am afraid that chalked up as a test failed. When the Dr. came in, he tried very briefly. He quickly resorted to having a tube with a camera stuck through my nose. They were able to do the exam. Everything looked perfectly normal. I passed that test.

I admit--I was a bit of a grump this time around. It was hard to go in there and go through this all again. I felt like I failed the test of cheerfulness, especially around my poor hubby, and he was trying to be so supportive. But I felt like he blew it when the nurse said we will have to wait a while to see the Dr. as she is doing a bone marrow biopsy, and it will be awhile. I thought she said she was going to give me a bone marrow biopsy. Right after she walked out the door, Bill told me how horribly those things hurt. "You ask anyone who has them and they are very painful." I thanked him for his "fine" encouragement. It wasn't until about 20 minutes later that we discovered the misunderstanding. We had our first good laugh for the day. The infusion itself went quite well, and we got home a half hour earlier we ever had before.

This past week has been a good reality check for me. In my world of friends and acquaintances, there are so many needs--some of are carrying much bigger burdens then I am bearing. As I pray for them, I often ask for God to give them grace. He promised to give it at the measure it is needed. That is such a comfort. We personally have felt the reality of that promise. Some of them need so much right now.